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The Standards, a collection of boutique hotels in Los Angeles, Miami, and New York, created its 2014 calendar based on customers’ comments.

The first page of the calendar reads: “A year of our favorite guest letters, comments and requests. All gratefully received, celebrated and joyfully reenacted by our staff.”

“Your staff are the nicest pooch-lovers in the whole world. Penny, my precious little wiener, is on a special diet and must be fed at specific times so she can take her pills. Your room service staff was sweet enough to prepare it each day, executed to the last detail and delivered right on time. Penny is extremely appreciative and is looking forward to her next stay.”

“Your tip jar saved my life! I was trying to buy drinks for my co-workers in from Sweden when my credit card went on the fritz. I was $20 bucks short in cash and about to die of embarrassment when the service discretely called me to the bar and spotted me the difference from the tip jar. The next day I got my card working and slipped them a $100 tip for saving my broke ass…”

“I am writing you to share a recent experience I had in your hot tub. I carefully entered into the water placing my glasses near the edge. The water was searingly hot and after a very brief time (I would say no more than 3-4 minutes) I placed the frames back on my face only to discover that the prescription had literally melted off the lenses. I tried to wash them to get them clear. This didn’t work, they are permanently damaged. I have been in hot tubs all over the world, including the natural ones in Reykjavik and this has never happened. Unacceptable. I would like to be compensated. They are the European Silhouette brand, made of titanium, and have ultra-thin, anti-reflective corrective lens. The price of the lens (without the frames) is about $150. Thank you in advance.”

“Thank you for providing a refuge to recover from the harsh world of Los Angeles and its dog-eat-dog media business. Your support for the arts is apparent in the wonderful environment you have created here. Thank you for rehabilitating me from a hostile takeover of my business, subsequent lawsuit, divorce, and collapse of my ego. I have been reborn a better man.”

“My girlfriend and I spent lots of money at the bar and on room service. Any compensations would be greatly appreciated.”

“I lost my kush. Where’s my kush?”

“I’m a music journalist and frequent guest of The Standard. I had just given an unflattering review to a volatile pop star’s latest album and heard through the grapevine he was staying at the hotel and I was certain he was going to exact some kind of revenge. To be honest, I was completely freaked out. After my anxious phone calls with the front desk, one of your staff kindly offered to stay up with me until I calmed down. She literally sat in my room and read to me until I passed out. These people deserve a bonus, a trophy, a weekend in the Bahamas.”

“Stayed here a few years ago and it is still beautiful! The only thing I recommend is… the TV is possessed. No matter which button you push: vol, channel up, etc, it just channels down – malfunction.”

“Quality of toilet paper could be better.. 3-ply minimum…otherwise it was a great room and enjoyable stay.”

“I LOVE YOU. Every time my best friend comest to town, we get a room here and live it up BALLER STYLE. We love the rooftop bar; and the nudie shower, and the weirdo art films. We’d like to thank you so much for the surprising upgrade from LARGE room to HUGE. We loved it and had such great time. We also very much appreciated the bouncer who let our two friends up to the rooftop bar sans cover. That MADE OUR NIGHT. Our friend got a dude’s number and made out with him. BEST… STAY… EVER!”

“Hey Standard, Thanks plenty for the most epic hangover of my life. And thanks even more for hydrating me the next day.”

“Dear Standard Staff, You were the most hospitable bunch of people I’ve ever stayed with in a while. Thank you so much for making my time here in LA so nice. PS: Btw, someone installed the sign in your hotel upside down.”

The Standard Hotel has come up with the perfect way to portray the encouraging and infuriating sides of working in a hotel.

The boutique hotel group created its hilarious and well-designed 2014 calendar based on the staff’s favorite guest comments and requests throughout the year. The comments came from guests at each of the group’s 5 hotels in New York, Los Angeles, and Miami.

Selected guests were surprised with a wrapped calendar during holiday stays at the hotel. Brand fans can also buy the calendar online for $35.

The Standards calendar was produced by creative agency KesselsKramer London, designed by Erik Kessels, and photographed by Thomas Mailaender.

Click through the slideshow above to read the comments that inspired the photographs.

Photo Credit: The Standards, a collection of boutique hotels in Los Angeles, Miami, and New York, created its 2014 calendar based on customers' comments. The Standard