He’s an 80s teen heartthrob who turned to travel writing — and now soul searching. A few years ago, Andrew McCarthy decided to confront the fears that had followed him his whole life. As he prepared to marry the women he loved, he headed out around the world to find the part inside of himself that just kept saying “no” to everything good in his life.

McCarthy spoke with weekends on All Things Considered guest host Celeste Headlee about his new memoir, The Longest Way Home.

“I got successful in a certain way, and famous in a certain way, in my early twenties when my personality was still being formed. You know, so it became very much a part of who I was to become as a man. I had really no awareness of myself, so as I grew and developed it was implanted on me. I have often said I wouldn’t waste success on anyone under 30. To me it was a very mixed blessing, you know, it was a wondrous, untethered time, but it was also something that filled me with ambivalence.”